At some point in our lives we have all lied, whether it was to get out of trouble from our parents or having a false excuse as to why our homework is not complete. It would be impossible to say that we could stop lying, but when does the simple "white lie" turn into a much more serious problem. Dr. Nogales says that we lie in order to avoid embarrassment and to gain a self image due to the immense amount of pressure placed on humans to be great. People lie because they want to be someone who they are not and in result they are never happy with what they are doing. They often cannot acknowledge the things they are accomplishing because down deep they know it does not belong to them. They begin to lose their friends and relationships and their true self becomes isolated. Lying can be addictive and is extremely hard to stop but is certainly possible.
Now I have to ask you, do you think lying is addictive? Do you have a friendship that has ended as a result of lying? Do you find that you know people who begin to lie so well that not only are you convinced their lie is true but they seem to believe their own lies? How do you think you would handle a situation where someone very close to you was a liar?
I think lying can be addictive. It seems like it can almost become second nature for a person to tell lies if they realize after the first few white lies they can get away with it, without consequence. It might become easier to relieve the guilt, especially if they have lied before. Sometimes it can be addictive whether or not we want it to be. One lie can spiral into a whole web of untruths. It can spread, whether we like it or not, which can cause us to continue to lie in order for the truth to remain a secret. The only way to really ever stop this spiraling is if the truth is revealed, emphasis on "if".
ReplyDeleteSome people, as Dr. Nogales mentioned, like to make their stories sound like "success stories" all the time. They don't want to sound "lame"; they have a need to fit in with the crowd, and believe that in order to do so must tailor their story to make it more interesting.
I can fortunately say I have never had a friendship that has ended as a result of lying, and I don't think I know anyone who have begun to lie so well that I am convinced their lie is true.. Then again I suppose I wouldn't know, because I would be accepting their lies as the truth. If someone very close to me was a compulsive liar, I would tell them that in order to stop lying, you must accept yourself. Because as Dr. Nogales says in her article, "A lie is lying to yourself". You have to be comfortable with who you are, in order for you to then accept that you cannot change your situation, or manipulate it through lying.
I definitely agree with Regan in that I believe lying can be addictive. As she said, one lie can lead to a tangled web of lies, because a lie is like a fire that requires fuel to keep it going. Sometimes we are lucky enough that the fire will die out, but the only way to really control when it stops is to put it out ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI personally have a friend who lies often, and she lies so often that I think she really believes her own lies. Whenever she is confronted, she refuses to admit that she has lied and assume any responsibility or accountability. I have come to expect lies from her, and I no longer trust or take at face value anything she says. I handle the situation by withholding complete trust in her and by taking everything she says with a grain of salt. I maintain distance and do not open myself up to her completely, as I have observed that her lies ruin many of her close relationships.
I think that lies are a slippery slope and that all it takes to start the downward slide is one lie, which gains momentum over time and requires more and more lies to keep it up.
I think in many cases lying can be addictive. Many people say "a little white lie can never hurt" but that couldn't be further from the truth. Many times, a little white lie can turn into something so much worse. You lie once, and it leads to so many other lies to keep up the facade you have created. One lie leads to another, which leads to another and so on and so forth. The cycle of lies doesn't end and it often involves others lying for you. This creates an addictive style of lying, where once you start it is impossible to lie. You can also become an addictive liar if you tell the same lie over and over. For a lot of people it is similar to the response "I'm fine". People every day tell other that they're fine when in fact they're not and often they say it enough that they start to believe it themselves when in fact, it is a lie. There is also the situation where you become a liar and lie often, about various things. When you lie too often it becomes second nature and you almost forget how to tell the truth.
ReplyDeleteI have personally had a friendship end due to lying. Not specifically, she lied to me I'm not friends with her anymore. We instead lied to each other thinking the friendship was lasting when in fact it was slowly dying. We lied to each other for long enough that one day she decided to stop lying and flip out on me.
Like my classmates said, I think lying can become addictive. Once someone gets away with one lie it is tempting to tell another one because it seems that there are no consequences but inevitably a liar will one day get caught. I used to lie to my parents to avoid trouble and it ended up damaging our relationship for awhile and they could no longer trust me. Due to personal experience I can say the article was right because it is not impossible to stop lying but once you have lied, especially when it is to get you out of trouble it does become addictive. I've never lost a friend or ended a friendship due to lying because I personally don't lie to my friends and as far as I know they don't lie to me either. That being said, I don't know anybody who lies so well that I believe them or that they believe themselves. If someone I was close to had a problem with constant lying I would probably just talk to my friend about it and if it continued I would eventually just end the friendship.
ReplyDeleteI do think lying can be additive. Once you get away with the first couple of lie, you might think "wow, I can get away with this?" and therefore continue to lie. Those little lies could turn into a huge lie, which eventually could get the liar in trouble when they have to explain everything. I am fortunate enough to say that I haven't lost a friend because of lying. I don't lie to my friend, and I strongly believe that my friends don't lie to me. I do know people who believe their own lies. They lie to make themselves feel better, and it obviously works when everyone else believes it. If someone very close to me was a liar, I'd see how far they would go with the lie, and if I gets out of hand, I'd probably confront them about it and if it results in the end of a friendship - then so be it. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who lies constantly anyway.
ReplyDeleteI also agree that lying is addictive. It is like a snow-ball affect where you start small, and soon you find yourself adding more to this snow ball and the lies keep getting bigger and bigger. This is until an avalanche or something occurs from your snowball and you suffer the consequences.
ReplyDeleteI can recall when I was younger and my friend would lie about little things and slowly the lies got so extravagant I just couldn't deal anymore. Now i see less of this problem, but I do encounter friends that tell these white lies. If i feel skeptical about what they have told me then I always confront them in private. This way they can confide in me or I can learn that I was misguided.
I agree that lying is addictive. So many times I've seen people, myself including, telling what they think is a small "white lie" and having to keep up that facade turns out to be more exhausting than just telling the truth in the beginning and being done with it. Once the lie is told, it is much more difficult to reverse that like than it is to tell the truth right from the start. I can never say that i have had a friendship completely end because of a lie, but i have been lied to by a friend and i can say that our relationship has never gone back to the way it once had. Even if a person admits to their lie and apologizes, there is always going to be that mistrust there and the wondering why that person lied to her, what their motives were.
ReplyDeleteI am an extremely terrible liar, and i always wonder how the people who are good at it, got good at it. Maybe they have grown accustomed to lying so they became comfortable with it. I would never want that to happen to me because once you become comfortable with lying, it becomes very easy to forget who you are and adopt the personality of the person in the lie. If my very close friend was a liar, i honestly don't know what i would do. I don't think that would ever happen to me because i would never become really close to a liar, unless i didn't know they were a liar, in which case i would have no other choice than to cut them out of my life.
Lying is addictive. In order to cover up a small lie someone told, people usually react by telling yet another lie, which only makes matters worse. Fortunately I do not have a friendship that has ended as a result of lying, however I do know a girl who constantly lies about the smallest things. They're not damaging lies, however it's just annoying to deal with.
ReplyDeleteI think in order for a liar to start believing what they say over reality, they have to have lied a lot about the subject. They also would have to be pretty embarrassed about what they did. If I was in a situation where someone close to me was a liar, I would confront them about it. If they came clean about what they did, I'd probably still maintain a relationship with them but still be skeptical about what they did.
I actually disagree, to some extent. I think that lying, in general, is only addictive to those people most susceptible. For instance, someone who is not taught over and over again that lying is unacceptable is probably more likely to get tangled in a web of lies than someone who has been reprimanded for lying, whether by parents or by a bad experience of getting caught in a lie. I think that in most cases, people start with a small lie and end up having to stick with it until they get away with it or get caught. That being said, I wouldn't define that as addictive. I think that the person would just rather go through with the lie than admit having lied in the first place.
ReplyDeleteI am grateful that I can say that I have not had a friendship end due to lies. I have had a friend tell me a very significant lie that they kept up for many months, but the friendship lasted. I knew that the person only lied because they were afraid of what I would think and once we talked things out, all was forgiven. I'd like to think that this is how most future run-ins I have with lying friends will work out.
I must admit that I believe people so incredibly easily that I NEVER know when I'm being lied to (I'd be a horrible police investigator). I choose to believe that people would rather do the honest and honorable thing than lie to my face...naive, I know, but true.
I too agree with the majority who have said that lying can be addictive. Even though most lies start off as little lies that were only made up to avoid something small or were never intentionally meant to offend, these lies can quickly grow into a full fledged lying spree. I often find myself watching shows like "90210" or "Gossip Girl" and thinking to myself that basically all the problems that the characters have could be avoided if they had just told that certain person the truth. In my own experiences, i have known many girls that have told small "harmless" lies to protect themselves from embarrassment or maybe even a slight case of disloyalty but in the end the lie always seems to catch up. I remember lying to my parents as a kid about really stupid things like not handing in a form to my school because i forgot or things of that nature, and in the end, it was always harder to keep the lie up and remember the lie than it was to actually do as i was told, or simply tell my parents that i had forgotten.
ReplyDeleteI think it can be really hard to confront a liar, because we all know or can imagine how embarrassing it could be to be caught in a lie. We almost don't want to further embarrass that person, but i definitely do think that at some point you have to confront a person close to you about lying because lying can only be detrimental to your relationship, nothing good can come from it.
So I agree with Meghan that lying can be addictive to some extent. I haven't lost a friendship, but my grandmother lies all the time, not that she's a bad person, she just wants it to seem, I guess a success story--she raised five kids practically alone perfectly, she never asks anyone for anything--she just wants whoever is listening to either feel sorry for her, or impressed with her. I expect her to lie most of the time and I have to check some of her stories with my mom. It doesn't really bother me because I'm expecting it so it's not a big deal for me, but if it was friend doing it, I probably would be upset about it (Grandmas are family.)
ReplyDeleteI do have a friend that tells rather extravagant stories and sometimes I'm really wondering how much of it was true and if some of it was lies.But I often find myself in the position of looking for the best in others, which usually has me believing, rather than disbelieving.
People lie, it happens, and it hurts whenever a person you are close with is lying to you. I'd probably find it frustrating and it would take a little while before I got the courage to call them out on their lie. It takes a lot to confront a liar, and depending on the lie, it could potentially end the friendship.
Point blank, lying is bad, and even when it's easier to lie, honesty is the best way to handle situations.
I think lying is addictive. When someone tells a lie, they usually have to tell another one to cover up the first and thus the cycle ensues. I can't begin to tell how many of my friends' relationships I have seen fall apart due to lying on both ends. I don't understand why you would lie to someone you're supposed to care about. Lying makes a situation worse. They think it's easier to tell me the truth and then try to include me in thinking up what to tell the other person. That is one situation where I will literally tell my friend you are one your own because that person needs and deserves to know the truth.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I haven't had any of my relationships end due to lying and I hope I never will (I highly doubt it). But at the end of the day lying can really change someone's view of a person. This label could follow them throughout the entire relationship because of one teensy weensy little lie.
The word lie can be defined as an intentional false statement or to be deceptive. I feel like the statements may be seen being done all over the world because majority of people lie but cannot admit that they do. I strongly agree that lying is addictive because “once you say your first lie, you never go back!” When you lie I believe you lose a sense of innocence while also learning that you have the ability maliciously lie, because this happens it allows you to more freely lie with not feeling any morsels of guilt.
ReplyDeleteEven though I do not have any friendships that have ended due to lying, I feel that lying can be a main cause of the destruction of millions of people’s relationships. Currently I know this girl that is a compulsive liar that lies so well that even before she says anything I know that I should not believe a word she says because majority of the time the information she is giving is a lie. I’ve never witnessed people who are convinced that their lie is true but I know that people who suffer from schizophrenia often are pretending to be someone else by lying about their entire life. For example in the movie Shutter Island, the main character is caught up in a lie that he indeed is a working detective when in real life he is not. If someone very close to me was a liar I would try to deal with the situation by confronting the person and telling them that it’s not right to lie and saying that I don’t want to be friends with them because a liar can only hurt me and personally I do not need that in my life. I feel that you should be real with your friends because they are always there for you even though the information you might say is rough they will understand compared to lying to your friend which hurts your friend because you are hiding information from them.
I think lying is addictive over time. Once someone realizes that they got away with one problem they think they can get away with another problem. Soon they think they can get away with anything by lying. Lying about a situation is almost like a rumor. In a rumor you do not know the truth but you decide to tell people anyways. When you lie you are telling a false statement. Many friendships end over rumors and or lies. I recently lost a friend because she believed rumors-lies- rather then listening to me. Last year at one of the camps I was at there was a girl who was a compulsive liar. We knew this because a girl from her school was also at the camp. When she told those lies, it did not seem like a lie at all. She seemed like she was telling the truth. If she happen to be one of my best friends I dont think I could continue to be her friend. Being friends is about being honest about almost everything. Lying is a serious offense in society. Telling the truth and facing the consequences is always better.
ReplyDeleteI think that if someone lies consistently, lying can easily become addictive. Although one may have the most innocent intentions behind a white lie or an insignificant lie, they can easily start lying more and more until it snowballs into deeper issues and more severe lies. Despite the fact that the person may be trying to hide a failure or some other disappointment that they don't want to admit to their friends or families, accepting the failure is the first step to acknowledging it and being able to overcome it in the future. Should the individual try to cover up their failure or tough situation with lies, it will only get worse, despite the false sense of acceptance they may gain from their friends because they only know the lie instead of the full story. In this case, I can see how friendships can end because of lies. Friendships should be built on honesty and trust, not lies, no matter how small they seem to be.
ReplyDeleteLike many of my classmates have said, I think lying can be addictive. I think it is because after a person has said one lie, they need to say many more to cover the previous lie up. If lying has worked in on situation, one may feel that it is beneficial to lie in another situation. I have had a friendship that ended in lying but it wasn't on my end. This friend would constantly lie about the same thing over and over again, because she knew that it would bother me. Yes, I do think that people who can convince others while lying, in the end convince themselves. I think this because people probably feel that it is almost true because everyone around them believes it to be true. They kind of have to live with their lie, literally. If someone very close to me was a liar, I would try to work with them to figure out hwy they are lying so much. I would want them to know that nothing would bother me. If the situation was serious, I would see if they should talk to someone, like a psychologist, to find out why they are lying so much. I think a person who has a serious lying problem needs to be able to say what they want to say, without fear of the repercussions.
ReplyDeleteI believe lying can become addictive. It starts as something minor but then builds to become something uncontrollable and leaves you questioning what is real. I had one experience with a girl who lied about everything in her life. She Never told us the truth about anything because she wanted us to believe she lead the 'perfect life'. Once we caught her in one to many lies we had enough. I ended the communications with her and to this day cannot understand how people put up with her lying. I am not saying i have never told a lie, but i have never made my life seem like something it was not to impress others. If someone very close to me became a pathological liar i would not handle it very well. Lying is one thing i do not like putting up with because it is one thing in your life that you are able to have control over.
ReplyDeleteLying is addictive because it’s similar to the domino effect, once one falls the rest of them go. I have too many friendships end because of lying and people trying to make up excuses that were not true for things. People who are compulsive liars lose track of their lies so I think they do start to think they are true and if you meet a compulsive liar it is harder to decide if they are telling the truth or a lie. For example, my best friend is a compulsive liar and I handle situations with her by asking her to retell a story or why she can’t do things over and over again and then I question here about it.
ReplyDeleteI definitely think lying is addictive. I have had many relationships that have ended as a result of lying because it was immaturity and inability of either person to fully understand the root of the problem as just focusing on solving an issue that was on the surface. Lies are used to conceal other people’s true feelings and emotions. There is always an underlying problem or issue which can be seen as a cause of lie. I have a pretty good idea of when people are lying because I’m pretty good at reading others’ body language and tone in voice. I think it depends more on how well you know a person in order to determine whether they are lying or not. If your best friend is lying to you, you are more likely to tell this because you see him/her when they are not lying a majority of the time. If someone very close to me is a liar then, they would not be very close to me at all. A liar is someone who feels they cannot be truthful and open with others thus preventing an honest relationship. I do not like to surround myself with people who lie because I do not lie to my friends. I deserve to be trusted and to know the truth and if I am giving my time to a person I should be treated with respect and not be lied to.
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