Would you consider gossip to be a bad thing, even if it is not done maliciously? Do you find that it is more common that people gossip in order to harm others or simply because they want to know more information? Is gossip something we can control and try to stop doing or is the article right and it's simply human nature to gossip?
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Why We Share Secrets
Being students at an all girls high school, none of us are unfamiliar with gossip. We are all told not to do it but at one time or another everyone has gossiped, and in some cases it has led to consequences, like the ending of a friendship. In Mark Matousek's article, he explains how four of his best friends had dropped him as a friend over gossip. What infuriated him about this fight with his friends was that the gossip was not malicious, and in fact was just because he and his friends (who frequently gossiped too) just wanted to share information and never meant any harm. He goes on to explain that as people, we are able to share information and that's an advantage in our human evolution. People gossip because they care about what is going on around them and want to share information with each other so everybody can be in the know. It is part of human nature, and as long as it is done in an innocent manner, and not with the intent to hurt another person it is a harmless aspect of human life.
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I find that people are inherently curious, and as Dylan said, want to know more about the world around them. They want to know the full story; just hearing one view of a situation is not enough. In order for a person to develop their own opinion on a situation, they must hear multiple sides of a story that will allow them to make their best objective judgment. Unfortunately what ends up happening, whether people are aware of it or not, is this "gossip" or sharing of stories can end up hurting someone. Most of the time I feel like it's completely unintentional for the reasons stated, but because most of us have been hurt by gossip before at least once in our lives, we have developed a disposition to believe that all gossip hurts. As the author's therapist stated, it's the messenger who usually ends up getting shot. The problem with gossip, which is also why I think we always associate it with getting hurt, is that the story tends to warp as it passes from ear to ear. It's like a giant game of telephone, and at the end of the rope the story is almost never the same. One detail changes each time, and unfortunately the story can take on a negative connotation, which brings about the hurt. It's also the idea that our friends are talking behind our backs instead of talking to us that makes us believe gossip is bad. As long as people are curious, there will be gossip, and as I said before, I believe that people are inherently curious. Therefore, there will always be gossip.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I do think that gossiping is human nature as everyone is naturally curious, sometimes it can get out of hand. While it may start as a simple way to find out more information or to gain new insight into a story as Regan stated, it can quickly lead to more detrimental effects as more and more people find out things that were never meant to be shared. I agree with the article in that despite these effects, gossiping can't really be stopped. Everyone has a natural inclination to gossip, no matter their reasons for doing so. In general, I find that most people gossip just out of curiosity without any negative intentions. However, if gossip comes to the wrong person, the story can easily be twisted around. If this happens, rumors have the potential to start.
ReplyDeleteWhile I don't think that gossip is always malicious, I do think it's bad. Gossip doesn't allow the person being talked about to defend themselves and is therefore unfair. I don't necessarily find that people gossip simply to be mean; as Regan said, humans are inherently curious. For this reason, I don't think gossip can be controlled. People may say that they will try to stop gossiping because they know it's wrong, but I don't think that would ever actually happen. People ARE inherently curious, and therefore, gossiping is part of human nature and will always be around.
ReplyDeleteEven if the gossip it not malicious, it can turn into that. Some people will gossip in order to harm others while others just gossip to let others be in the know; it all depends on the situation. If something has happened directly to someone, the gossip may be intended to hurt the other person, but if someone was not directly affected, the gossip is probably just to let other people know what happened, because no one wants to feel left out. But like Regan said, the story always changes from person to person - someone may leave and important part out, or add something in. I agree with the article in that gossiping if just human nature and cannot be controlled.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with what Meg is saying, gossip isn't always malicious--people are just inherently curious. She's right, it isn't fair to gossip because the person being talked about really can't step in and defend themselves. Gossip can't be controlled, people love talking and learning, and are curious people. In my life, I feel like even with my lunch table, it's less like gossip and more like story-telling because it isn't negative, it is more curiosity than anything else, we're not saying mean things or being malicious, we're mostly story-telling. Gossip is going to happen, it is just part of human nature.
ReplyDeleteI don’t think gossip in general is bad unless it’s done maliciously or if you pas information along that you were instructed not to. I know for me I tell a small group of friends that I trust that other people tell me if I need to get it off my chest because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with some information. I think it is human nature because as humans we want relationships with people and part of that is telling people things. Also like Regan said humans are naturally curios and we can’t help wanting to know certain things. However, I think we can control it but we pick not to.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that people are inherently curious, and I think that it is without a doubt in our human nature to gossip and share information. Sharing is what civilizations and societies are founded on, and it is only natural that information and knowledge - unique to humans - would be shared as well. I know that when I gossip with my friends, it is not usually out of malicious intent but rather because I am simply really curious about something and just genuinely want to know or because I know something and feel an urge to share it. I think that this urge to share information when we find something out is an indicator that as humans it is natural for us to want to gossip, and I think that as long as one can control their gossip so that it does not hurt anyone else, it is relatively harmless.
ReplyDeleteBeing that gossiping is part of being human, I don't think that it's harmful if it's done while not trying to be malicious. Whether we're gossiping or not, what we say can hurt other people, so I personally equate gossiping to another statement I could possibly say. I don't think that people gossip in order to tarnish another person's image. Instead, it's done in order to gain more information about a subject or to even make conversation and bond with a person nearby. I'm sure we can limit how much we gossip and who we gossip to in order to stop unintentionally hurting the people around us, however I have to agree with Mark Matousek that gossiping is simply human nature and a way we relieve awkward situations during conversation.
ReplyDeleteIf gossip is not done with the intention to hurt somebody, i would not consider it harmful. I agree with my classmates in that humans are naturally curious and so it is human nature to desire to receive information which you are interested in and to share information with your friends who you think would want to know. I think it is more common for people to gossip simply because they are interested and want to know about something. However, i have seen many cases where gossip is done in order to cause harm to someone else, like by spreading a rumor that would harm the person's reputation. Although it is human nature to be curious and so to gossip with the intention to knowing something for yourself, I think that we can control gossiping when we know that our gossip would hurt someone and to refrain when we have those feelings. We also must acknowledge that we should take gossip with a grain of salt because, regardless of what is being gossiped about, there is always a chance that it may not be entirely true.
ReplyDeleteOf course gossip can be a bad thing if it is done intentionally to hurt another, but i think if gossip is not malicious then it is not a bad thing. I think good gossip just shows an interest in someone elses life and in some ways show you care.I think at the stage we are at in our lives gossip is done more to harm others. As teenagers we have not fully matured so gossiping to us still means destroying a reputation or starting a rumor. This is not to say that teenagers are incapable of non malicious gossip, i just feel it happens less often. To some extent we are able to control our gossip. It is our mouth and brain and we are in control, but sometime i think our desires are strong then our morals and we succumb to gossiping.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe gossip is a good thing but it is almost inevitable not to talk about someone whether it be good or bad. I find that it is more common for people to gossip to find out more information but then that can turn into a malicious act. No one wants to know that they are being talked about so if it gets back to someone it could turn from being a way to find out more information to a huge deal. I feel that as much as someone tries not to gossip they will find themselves doing it anyway. I believe that it is human nature for people to gossip. That is not to say that it is right but something I feel that no one will be able to put an end to.
ReplyDeleteGossip is a bad thing even if it is not meant to be harmful. Talking about other people behind their back is not something people should be proud of, yet everyone does it. I think people gossip because they are either jealous of what that person has done or they are in shock that that person has done that act. I believe it is human nature to gossip. Gossip can not be stopped but the harmful gossip can. When a rumor is spread of one person to another it can hurt someone especially if it is false. If people think before they spread something then the negative gossip can be slowed down.
ReplyDeleteI would hate to say that gossip is part of human nature because someone can easily choose to gossip or not to gossip, or someone may never feel inclined to gossip. I feel like gossiping is an action someone can chose to take part in like participating in class, or going out this Friday night. There certainly are people who gossip to harm rather than share little information and they chose this action. This seems to be very common no matter what generation so it may seem like gossip is simply "human nature."
ReplyDeleteI consider gossip to be a bad thing even if it is done maliciously because people have the will power to gossip or not gossip like Gaby previously said. I feel that when people talk about others behind their backs they really feel low about themselves because they are trying to put someone done in order for them to feel better. I find that its more common for people to gossip to harm people because they are just out to get each other. Sometimes people may want to know more information but if they do they should just ask the person themselves. I feel that gossip is something WE can control because we choose whether to go out and tell people stories about others or stay home and do the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI definitely do not think gossiping is a good thing but I do think that it is part of human nature. We share our ideas and thoughts with close friends and at some point our ideas and thoughts may be about a certain person, resulting in gossip. I think that we as a culture can refrain from nonsensical thoughtless gossip that can be harmful and unrelated but It would be hard to not tell your friends about something that is bothering you or something that has been on your mind. Malicious gossip though, is something we can definitely stop, and something that we really need to work on as a whole.
ReplyDeleteI think in general, people overreact to gossip. I had a personal experience in 3rd grade when my class spread around gossip and we all got our recess taken away except for a few kids. Now, I wasn't one of them and I wasn't jealous that they still had recess, I was fascinated by the fact that they didn't want to share the information. I personally am bad at keeping secrets. It's not that I purposefully go around and tell people things, i just find that when I hear things, there are certain people I want to enlighten with my new information. I think this is a natural human reaction. When something interests us, we want to tell others about it. I think a certain aspect of gossip is also important to society. Without gossip, the news would not exist, we would not have reality television and so many other things. Humans have a natural tendency to be nosy. We try to make it harmless with things like facebook, but as we all know, most from experience, gossip can be a bad thing.
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