Have you ever watched a TV or a movie and right away figured out the "popular cliché?" In the article You Don’t have to be Popular, talks about how an adult reflects on her childhood to figure out she was that "popular" kid in high school. Everyone always wants to fit into society. Nobody wants to be the outsider, especially in school. It says that like beauty, popularity is in the mind of the beholder. There was also a study done that showed that kids who felt good about their social life believed that they were "popular."
Do you agree that popularity is actually defined to that person by the beholder or the peers around them? Can you think back to middle school and remember the "popular" cliché and if so, what were they like? Have you ever done anything that was against your beliefs just to fit in?
(Posting for Jessica because her's does not work)
I agree that popularity is actually defined to that person by the beholder. If a kid is confident in themselves, then they're most likely not searching ways to be someone else. They're not worried about how other people around them are behaving and whether or not they should copy that behavior to fit into social norms. I think, especially at the middle school level, kids want to be able to fit in with everyone else because they want acceptance, to feel like they belong somewhere. I think back to when I was in middle school and I remember there was one group that seemed to set the standard for everyone else. When something in particular was popular, like a certain item of clothing or a hairstyle, everyone had to wear it, and that group was always the first to do so. I think we've all done something that was against our beliefs just to fit in, even though we may not like to admit it. Like the author said, I believe our longing to conform to society is an innate human condition, and not so much an "arrested development". This popularity issue takes place in all aspects of life, not just in middle or high school. I believe thinking we have a good "social standing" as the author describes it boosts our self confidence and therefore leads us to believe that we are, if at least somewhat, popular.
ReplyDeleteI definitely believe that popularity is defined by the beholder. We all could think that different groups are "popular" depending on what we think is the definition of popular and what we look up to in a group of people. Looking back at middle school I honestly feel like there wasn't a "popular" crowd, maybe its the fact that I'm looking back and not currently in it, but I remember everyone actually being friends with everyone. There were different groups, some I hate to say were I guess not the most socially efficient but there were multiple groups of "cool kids". I also think that growing up we all do things that against our beliefs to fit in or not be weird and I certainly have. Growing up and being a kid is hard and sometimes we don't always follow our core morals.
ReplyDeleteWhile I understand what the article is saying, I disagree and think popularity is based on peers. If someone has confidence and thinks they're popular but all their peers disagree, this person is bound to feel like they don't fit in. While having self confidence may help one feel popular, typically the influence of one's peers can change how they feel about themselves. Based on this I would say that peers and schoolmates have a bigger influence in popularity than the beholder his or her self. Although I have never done anything extreme to fit in with the crowd, I am sure I have acted in certain ways or done certain things to fit in. I think at one time or another everyone has done something they would not normally do to be accepted because nobody wants to feel like an outcast especially growing up and still figuring out who you are.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that popularity is defined by the beholder. As Amber said, each one of us can view a different group as popular, and we will most likely strive to either become a part of that group or emulate them in some way. In middle school, however, popularity seemed to be judged mostly by peers. Looking back to my middle school experience, I noticed that there was one sort of central popular crowd, however each member of that group always had friends with those outside of the group. That group typically set the newest trends, and most people in my grade, including myself, attempted to follow them. In middle school especially I feel like we always try to become a part of the popular crowd, even if we personally don't want to do what they're doing or dress how they dress. Being a kid in middle school is challenging, and at that age fitting in seems to be all-important.
ReplyDeleteSo I guess I'm kinda nerdy and I read this article and just thought of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. And it points out just as my peers did, that popularity is defined by the beholder. I went to a very small school 27 students in my graduating class, and popular could better be defined as loudest. So my middle school isn't quite what every other school was like. Schoolmates and peer certainly have an influence on how people act. As Dylan pointed out, no one wants to feel like an outcast.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the previous posters: popularity is defined by the beholder. It is often a relative term, as well. For instance, my middle school graduating class consisted of only 20 students, and still there was the "popular" group. How someone can be popular in that small of a class, I have no idea, but they were viewed as such. Often I think that even if you consider yourself to be socially outgoing and to have a sizable group of friends, you can still be defined as unpopular depending on the size of the overall group and the ideals upheld by the population you're measuring against. As I had witnessed in middle school, popularity seems to be the main drive for many adolescents and they seem to be willing to do anything to achieve it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the previous posters: popularity is defined by the beholder. It is often a relative term, as well. For instance, my middle school graduating class consisted of only 20 students, and still there was the "popular" group. How someone can be popular in that small of a class, I have no idea, but they were viewed as such. Often I think that even if you consider yourself to be socially outgoing and to have a sizable group of friends, you can still be defined as unpopular depending on the size of the overall group and the ideals upheld by the population you're measuring against. As I had witnessed in middle school, popularity seems to be the main drive for many adolescents and they seem to be willing to do anything to achieve it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone that popularity is in the eye of the beholder. I think that overall the way that you view yourself has a huge impact on the way other people view you, because people are usually more comfortable around people who are comfortable with themselves. I think that most of the time we do not care if we are in the "in crowd" as long as we are not on the outside, which may mean being bullied or ostracized. I also think that although popularity is extremely important to middle schoolers, it becomes less important the older we get, and we start to care more about the quality of our friends than the quantity. I do think that the way our peers view us has some impact on the way we view ourselves and that in some sense it is a cycle, but I also think that we have a great deal of power regarding the way we view ourselves and therefore have a great deal of power regarding the way other people view us. I think that the most dangerous part of popularity is when what other people think becomes more important than what we think, because that is when we start to lose ourselves. This can be especially harmful at a time when we are trying to form an identity because allowing the perspectives of others to shape who we become can prevent us from ever really developing an identity that is entirely our own.
ReplyDeleteI think that popularity is in the eyes of the beholder. I can certainly look at a group of friends and say that they are popular, but i agree that i could consider myself popular as well because i have a great friend group and am happy with my social situation. In middle school, i think popularity was much more narrowly defined. It wasn't about being happy with the friend group that you were in in middle school; it was more about fitting into that one group. That group had expensive clothes, wore makeup and had all the boys liking them. I think that there have been times in my life where i have no acted how i normally would because i was afraid of not fitting in. Although i have never changed myself to fit in with the crowd, i still sometimes can admit to not being fully myself in certain situations. I think that this is natural for everyone and the person who says that they don't care at all what anyone thinks about them is not telling the truth.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that popularity is in the eye of the beholder because how you feel about yourself reflects how you act in other social situations. In middle school my class consisted of 13 girls there were the popular girls, the outsiders, and the foreign Korean girls. The popular girls formed a cliché starting in 4th grade and if you weren’t part of their group then, then you were stuck as an outsider. By 6th grade they were calling themselves the sassy six and they did everything together and had the same taste in everything including clothes, bags, food, music etc. and of course all the boys wanted to talk to them and only them. However, they never seemed happy there was always drama and they were always going behind each other’s back. I can’t remember doing something specific that was against my beliefs to fit in but like Mary Grace said it’s natural for people not to be fully themselves in a certain situation. Overall, being in middle school is hard because while you’re trying to figure out who you are you’re also trying to fit into a group of people that you may not like just so you don’t feel left out.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that popularity is in the eye of the beholder, however I think that their peers around them are to blame for giving them that view. As humans, I've noticed that people always pick people out to follow, whether they are celebrities or people in our class. In my middle school, I don't remember anyone every being "popular." I went to a small catholic school, where we all wore the same thing and the new teacher that always cried in class was more important than actually learning. There were kids who were considered different, and didn't necessarily "fit in" with the majority of us, but we always tried to include them in class activities. As for myself, there's nothing I have tried to do to fit in. I tend to be shy in some situations, so I guess you can say that I'm not always expressing my entire personality. When I do get comfortable around the people I'm with, I open up and people still like me for who I am.
ReplyDeleteI personally feel that popularity is in the eyes of the beholder because even though you may not be in the cool crowd you can think of yourself highly by believing that you are actually popular. In reality no one ever wants to think about themselves as that "nerd" that sits in the corner of the lunch room. Everyone wants to think highly of themselves - so if they think they are popular then they have "popularity" because of the statement "popularity is in the eyes of the beholder." In my middle school, the "popular" group was made up of the loud soccer team and the macho boys. If you were not in this popular crowd, the "populars" would consider you a loser. I was lucky to be in that crowd, but for everyone else it did not matter because people can be popular to themselves it.I have actually never done anything that was against my beliefs just because it was the cool thing to do. I feel that whenever put in a situation that makes you question whether doing a certain action is bad - people should stay true to themselves and their morals.
ReplyDeleteI think that popularity is something that other people do define because it is how well you are know. yet this is not necessarily a good thing, like someone being infamous. Popularity At my middle school the popular kids were very obnoxiously loud and they got into fights a lot. I think popularity depends on the area of location. In my middle school my view of the “popular kids” was negative, yet there are other people who worshipped the ground these kids walked on. I don’t believe I have done anything against my morals to gain popularity because being popular was never something I strived to be, I have always been comfortable with people either knowing me or not knowing me, but only in a positive way.
ReplyDeleteI believe that popularity as everyone else stated above is in the eyes of the beholder. I believe that this brings about whenever or not a person has a high level of self confidence or not. There really is no real definition that explains what popularity is, its just how you may perceive it. What one group may think is considered popular another group may highly disagree. I went to a small Catholic grammar school with my class only being a size of 36. I was considered to be in the "popular" group because my other three girl friends and I hung out with the "cool" boys of the grade and we were all athletic. I don't believe I ever did anything against my belief just to fit in because I have always been true to myself no matter what the circumstance.
ReplyDeleteI think that popularity comes from others but is in the eyes of the beholder. Of course you need a following to be popular. They may not like you and you can of course have popularity from infamy but that is beside the point. You can't go to a homeschool and never leave the house but still have some illusion that you're the most popular person on the planet (unless you're talking about how popular you are to your mom, then be my guest). The popularity is in the eyes of the beholder though. (Sorry this is about to turn into Mean Girls) There is the "queen of the nerds" and although they are not popular to the plastics, among the nerds they are the coolest thing since sliced bread. But then there's also the lead of the plays who is praised among the theater kids but the nerds don't know exist. Then there is the Barbie of the plastics and although they may be the most popular among the school, she can go somewhere else and be invisible.
ReplyDeleteMy school didn't really have a "popular group" as far as I knew, of course I may have just overlooked this since I spent most of my time with one group of kids in the honors classes. Like Gaby said, the popular kids in our school were probably the leaders to the "gangs" we had.
I think everyone has done something against their belief to fit in, even if its little. I know in 3rd grade I spread around a rumor just so I could seem cool. I got my recess taken away and it was traumatic, but everyone else did too so I still felt that I fit in.
I personally believe that popularity is defined by what someone thinks of themselves. A person who values himself/herself and respects his or her own individual beliefs would not be one to “go with the flow” and do things just to fit in with others. To me, someone who is popular is someone who is well-liked and respected by everyone, a person who has no enemies. I think that what makes a person popular is his or her not being afraid to be themselves and stand out from the crowd not caring what others think- that, to me, is an admirable quality. The popular cliché in middle school were the girls that everyone envied, why they were envied I can’t really understand looking back. At the time, they were the girls who seemed to ‘know everything’ and have everything- the coolest shoes, clothes, always hung out with the boys, etc. That group of girls represented to me what I should aspire to be like after having been brainwashed in a sense by the media at that point in my life. The cliché was exclusive of course, because at the time I thought because not everyone could as ‘perfect’ as them, there always seemed to be a person in the cliché who didn’t quite belong. In attempt to fit in with the cliché, I would make fun of the girl in their group who didn’t seem to be just like them. I thought that my malicious humor was my ticket to being accepted into their group. I felt bad about it of course, but I tried to rationalize my actions by thinking, “If they have been making fun of me, why can’t I now make fun of one of them?” Poor thinking, and I feel horrible looking back on it; but I learned a lot from what I did and today I am a person who could not care less what people think of me.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone else in that popularity is in the eye of the beholder but their peers around them can also influence that. If everyone else regards someone as "popular" everyone else may start to think that as well. Back in middle school, I didn't really have one specific "group," I guess you could have considered me a "floater." I was friends with most of the "popular" people, the athletes, the "nerds", the "theater geeks", etc. But like my classmates have stated, the "popular" girls always had the newest clothes, always wore makeup, had nice hair, and the boys all wanted to talk to them. Like Randi said, I think we've all done something that was against our beliefs just to fit in. The only thing I can remember doing was laughing at people in class, which is so childish.
ReplyDeleteI think popularity has to do with both the person and how the people around them value them. A popular person usually has something that others strive for and the people around this person react to this and hold them higher than others. This is usually what happens in movies when we see a popular person. Usually everyone around them hold them on a pedestal because they think that they have something that is desirable. In middle school, the popular people were usually the prettiest and the most out going. Also, in middle school I remember the popular people as being friends with the most guys and although most people had moved on from being excited my material things, many times the popular people did have the newest and coolest things. I can't really think of anything major that go against my value system to fit in. If at all it would be wearing makeup in middle school when it was definitely against my parent's rules.
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