Most of us follow social norms unconsciously, but if asked to break one, have a very difficult time. In order to understand how powerful these norms are, I challenge you to break one! Consider any of the following norms (feel free to create a new one!): board a public bus and sing out loud, get into an elevator with other people and face backward, join someone who is sitting alone at a restaurant, wear your clothes backward. This website offers a great list of common social norms to break.
Describe your initial feelings; the events that occurred; others’ reactions to you; and your own reaction.
After your experiment, describe your opinion on social norms? How do they affect society as a whole? Do we need them? It will be uncomfortable, but fun!
- NOTE— please do not do anything illegal or unsafe (e.g. walking through a drive-through is creative but dangerous).
Please write your post by Tuesday 3/27/12
So I'm not going to lie, it took a bit of mental preparation for me to get up the confidence to do something like this hahah. I ended up going to Paramus Park yesterday when we were allowed to leave at lunch. When I got there, I didn't think about what I was doing, I just went and did it so I wouldn't chicken out. I ended up walking up the down escalator, circling around to the other side of the mall, and then walking down the up escalator. There were quite a few people there, as it was around noon and the lunch rush was coming in. The first time I did it, walking up the down escalator, I definitely received strange looks from the people on the escalator. One man who was about to go down the escalator looked to check to make sure he wasn't going on the wrong one as I walked past getting off. When I went down the up escalator, the security guard saw me as I came off, and asked me why I would do such a thing, and not to do it anymore because apparently it's a safety hazard. I told him I just needed a change of pace and walked away. While I didn't look back to see his reaction, I could only imagine the look he gave me. One elderly woman as I was descending the up escalator chuckled as I walked past her. Overall the whole thing was a little uncomfortable, especially because there was no reinforcement for my actions. I'm a pretty independent person, but I definitely think if I had someone there doing it with me, or at least someone there who knew what I was going to do and encouraged it, it would have been easier. I think social norms in most cases are necessary, especially because breaking some, as said, could be illegal or unsafe to you or others around you. The downside to social norms is they have the potential to turn people into natural conformists, people who don't really challenge what exists and push the envelope a little.
ReplyDeleteSo I kind of wanted to push the envelope on this, so I borrowed my cousin, he's two and spent the day with him. We walked down to the park together and I was mistaken for his mom, even asked if I had a napkin a dad could use for his own son. I got a few sideways glances of disapproval but there weren't enough people around for it to really count. So I took him to shoprite to get a few things for dinner. I plopped him into the shopping cart and we walked right into an incredibly busy store. I felt a little uncomfortable violating the social norm looking like a teen mom. I got a lot, a lot of disapproving looks. On the flip-side I also got a few complements on how cute he was, and when my cousin didn't want to give up his candy bar to the cashier to ring up, it took some patience and coaxing to get him to understand it would be given back. The cashier was a lot more patient than I thought he'd be and he even bagged the candy immediately after scanning it and gave it back. It was really difficult to ignore the looks of people watching me...maybe I'm being dramatic, but the spotlight effect was totally taking over because it really did feel like everyone was watching. Like Regan said, Social Norms do dictate some necessities, especially safety things. The downside is, they can potentially put people into boxes and then no one is pushing to make any changes in their environments.
ReplyDeleteWhile doing the laundry, I had the greatest idea: I was going to violate the social norm of only wearing socks on my feet. Since I had planned going shopping, I grabbed a red sock, slipped it on my hand and began to walk around in search of the store I planned on visiting. Initially, I felt like an idiot. While in the store, people would look at me, down at my hand, and then would shake their heads and smile or just look away. However there was one lady who stopped me and reminded me that I had a sock on my hand. Since I laughed and told her I knew, I'm sure she thought I was insane.
ReplyDeleteI think that our society places way too much emphasis on what's normal. People are continuously judging others based on their actions, looks and ideas. Although I believe that some social norms are beneficial to keeping order in society, the vast requirements of keeping up with the "ingroup" can lead to an increase in bullying, depression and a lack in self esteem that can harm younger generations.
Yesterday I went to my brother's fairly new restaurant with my mom to have a little mother/daughter brunch. The chef who I have known for years is one of those totally anal types who likes everything PERFECT and cannot stand to have anything not go his way. Even my brother and his two partners are slightly scared of him, and my mom and I are literally the only people who can get away with anything around him, although I'm sure he curses us behind our backs. Regardless, we all know as a family and as business partners to never disturb Chef Kingsley during service hours especially during the record breaking brunch seating they had yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI told my mom my assignment to violate a social norm and I read her the list of suggested violations and we both felt a connection to the "bring your own cheese/ask for substitution" idea.
Before we went to the restaurant, we stopped at the grocery store and bought a package of some random cuts of chicken and brought it to brunch. Mind you, Chef Kingsley is also anal about quality and SoCo only serves organic fresh range chicken and whatever else they say about "high quality" chicken. Anyways, when our waitress (who has seen my mom but doesn't particularly know us) asked us for our order I handed her the package of chicken and asked her to ask the chef to make the Red Velvet Waffle and Fried Chicken using the chicken that I had provided. She looked absolutely bewildered but because she's seen us talk to my brother/ her boss she reluctantly took the package to the kitchen. Within minutes, my brother approached the table fuming, yelling at me to stop playing around and that Chef Kinglsey was in the back screaming about how people in the dining room are disrespecting his craft. Long story short, I created a slight ruckus and felt totally uncomfortable while doing so and obviously eventually came clean to a less than happy but understanding chef.
This obviously isn't a social norm that I think people should violate as I feel it really does go past the line of what is truly acceptable. Despite my out there attempt to go past my comfort zone, i definitely agree with the posts of my classmates that as a society we are too hung up about what's normal. Normal is relative and to be honest, I doubt that most of us are even normal. Normal is boring.
So for breaking my social norm I decided to go for a walk down the busiest street in my very small town. However, instead of simply walking I decided to dance and sing very loud. (and I'm not a good singer). Anyway, while I was dancing down the street I got many awkward looks from people but then something happened that I did not expect. While a line of cars were waiting for the light to turn green an older lady with her window rolled down spotted me and yelled "you go girl". Even though this experience made me laugh it made me want to stop, but I didn't I just kept dancing and singing.
ReplyDeleteI think in general social norms are and are not necessary. They are necessary because they could be hazardous to other people if we break them but like Regan said the downside is they can turn people into natural conformists.
Also this assignment has made me want to break (simple and safe) social norms on a regular basis.
ReplyDeleteThe social norm that I broke was taken from the website. I pretended I was an answering machine every time either my cell phone or house phone rang. While in the beginning it didn't really work because I kept laughing, after the first couple phone calls I went into full "answering machine mode." The best reactions were from the occasional telemarketer who called my house phone and could tell it wasn't really an answering machine. They would demand to speak to someone or ask that I answer their questions, but instead of responding I either stayed completely silent or said "this person's answering machine is full. To leave a call back number, press 5" then hung up. Overall, friends and family typically thought it was funny, if not annoying, but the telemarketers genuinely got frustrated on the other end of the phone and demanded either to call back at some other time or to speak with someone other than me if they could tell I wasn't really the answering machine. After completing this experiment, I have a completely different perspective on social norms. I never thought of breaking one before, but now that I did, it shows just how pointless some of them are and how serious some people take them.
ReplyDeleteWell, for my social norm, I decided to walk through the drive through(because you only live once). Anyways, it was a slow time so I didn't get run over but, I did get some weird looks from people (who were in cars) behind me. Then when I got to the window to pay, the cashier looked at me like I was crazy. I told her don't ask and she just kept staring at me. Then I went to the last window to pick up my food, the person didn't say anything they just gave me my food and said next time to come inside the restaurant. This social norm was a little awkward, but I liked breaking it. I mean at the end of the day who dictates what a social norm is?? Just because ALMOST everyone is society does it doesn't mean that it's normal. My dad used to tell me that normal is not always what we think it is because everyone has their problems. This might be a little extreme but What if the way "crazy" people act are normal and we're the odd balls?? Making a social norm is just like making a fashion statement it spreads and spreads until all of society does it and this it is labeled as a social norm. In my opinion, that's just stupid. Like Amber said normal is boring.
ReplyDeleteI got my idea from the website and asked people if I could cut them in line. When they asked why I needed to I told them I didn't need to I just didn't feel like waiting. I went to a shopping center a few minutes away at my house and at several stores I asked people if I could cut them so I didn't have to wait. Surprisingly I did not feel that uncomfortable doing so because I did not know anybody I had asked and I probably would not see them again. I felt a little uncomfortable doing it in front of the sales people though since I frequent those stores and might actually see them again. In the clothing stores I went in people did not take so much issue with me asking, one even allowed me to do it. In Victoria's Secret I asked a woman and she laughed and then allowed me to cut her since I was bold enough to outright ask and tell her the truth. In a makeup store I asked another woman if I could take her place on line and she didn't seem offended but she looked at me in a strange way which was enough to tell me I was not going to be cutting that line. When I finally got to Panera, I asked an elderly woman if I could cut her online. Instead of laughing or thinking I was strange like the other two, she proceeded to lecture me on my manners and asked who raised me. Needless to say I was definitely not cutting that line.
ReplyDeleteWhile I agree that this particular social norm is kind of extreme, I think in general it made me realize that not acting "normally" isn't that big of a deal. I think it's slightly rude/ entitled to decide you are above waiting online so I probably won't be doing that on a regular basis but after the first time asking, I didn't feel embarrassed or weird about asking, I didn't think much of it so I'm sure if it was a social norm that didn't make me seem "manner-less" I wouldn't feel as uncomfortable violating it.
To be honest I had no idea what I was going to do until this morning. I decided to wear my senior sweater backwards. This idea just happened to pop into my mind and I thought why not. I knew that I was going to be getting a lot of strange looks but I thought that in school this would be a perfect place. Many people were giving me very strange looks as I was walking through the hallway and even when I was standing outside of the class to go in for Psych Mary Grace gave me a very strange look as if to say what are you doing. I thought that was very interesting because I would have thought that people in our class would have instantly realized what I was doing but that was not the case. Some of my friends said I looked like an "idiot and moron" while other people just asked why it was backwards. Walking down to lunch I passed the freshmen who sit in poster alley and I could see all of the looking at me until finally one of my friends who was there asked what the heck I was doing. Ms. Adamo thought that i was cold so I put it on backwards to try to make myself warmer. The reactions I got from people were what I was expecting; I knew I was going to get some weird looks and be asked why I was doing that. Social norms are very evident in society as I saw with my experiment. People see that you are not doing what you are "supposed" to be doing and instantly think you are weird and give you a strange look. I must say I felt really weird walking around like that but I knew I had to do it to get out of my comfort zone and truly see how everyone has a view of what you should be doing. In my opinion it is rather unfortunate that society is like this; if someone wants to wear their sweater backwards then all power to them and they should do so without getting strange looks. This is going to be a very hard thing to change if it ever will but by doing these experiments you realize how you need to break out of your comfort zone to see what it is like to be the "odd one out."
ReplyDeleteSo, as I now run the errands for my very large family in exchange for having access to the car, I frequently visit one of the only supermarkets in town. And by frequently, I mean daily (my family eats a lot). Therefore, since my town is so small and I'm there all the time, I often see plenty of the same people day in and day out. Today, to violate a social norm, I decided to enter the store skipping, shop around skipping, and exit the store skipping. Other than requiring a lot of cardiovascular endurance, it was kind of fun. Honestly the most difficult part of this assignment for me was the fact that I had to go alone. I hardly ever go anywhere alone; I usually take my sister(s) for company, so that was hard to get used to. The weird looks I received (and believe me, there were many) were more amusing than unsettling.
ReplyDeleteIn general, I think that social norms are more of a convenience or comfort than a necessity. People like feeling part of a group, or at least average. It creates a sense of comfort within the environment. Though I think society needs to relax a bit when it comes to the consequences of breaking a social norm. Someone simply violating a norm innocuously hardly warrants being treated as inferior or being ostracized in a social setting.
I decided to break a social norm by hopping into the same compartment, if you will, of a revolving door as someone who was already in it....This particular revolving door was extremely small and it probably would have taken an extra .5 seconds for me to wait to go in the next opening which is why the man who was already in the revolving door looked so skeptical of me as we were squashed together in the small compartment. Initially I couldn't even look at him because i was so embarrassed; my face was probably all red so I bet he thought i was just preoccupied with something and didn't realize it. This situation made me more uncomfortable than i initially thought i would be. Usually I am a very eccentric person and i will do things to entertain people and i have no problem making a fool out of myself. However, I felt like in breaking a social norm, it was more like i didn't really have a reason for doing it, do it was embarrassing to me and i just thought about what the man was thinking about me. I think that we need social norms, in order to distinguish appropriate behavior for certain situations. On a larger scale than taking someone's compartment in a revolving door, i feel like social norms prevent us from doing much worse things like laughing at funerals or screaming in a movie theater. If we didn't have these social norms,there would be chaos in society and no one would understand appropriate behavior from inappropriate behavior
ReplyDeleteI decided to try out one of the examples provided by the website, so I broke a social norm by saying "Hello" at the end of a conversation on the phone. I had a normal conversation with my sister on the phone, but when she told me she had to go study, I said hello instead of goodbye. It was clear that the conversation was ending and I did not say it in a tone that implied that I had something else to say, and yet my sister stayed on the line and asked if I was still there rather than hanging up the phone. After I said hello a second time and then hung up, she called me back to ask me what was going on because she could not comprehend that I would say hello at the end of a conversation. I agree with everyone else that there are certainly some social norms that are justifiable for the sake of safety and order, but I think that the problem is that we accept the practices at the surface rather than ever considering the reasons and meaning behind them, which can lead us to get caught up in meaningless and pointless social norms that can restrict us. I think that this experiment is definitely beneficial, because it forces us to reassess why we do some of the things that we do without ever really thinking about them, and to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of our everyday actions.
ReplyDeleteI have a jeep liberty which has a sun roof that stretches from the front of the car to the back of the car. I went to the shoprite parking lot and parked my car in the busy lot. I opened my roof, stood on my chair and waved to the people passing by. The look on peoples faces when they passed me by were pure Kodak moments. Some people just stared at me while others waved back at me. I definitely could hear people talking about me to other people they were with. To relate to the "What is Beautiful is Good" article, when i saw attractive boys it became very embarrassing rather when seeing older folks it was not. If i saw someone waving from the rough of their car I would probably think they were crazy. It is definitely not something that you see everyday. Social norms are set by the media. The more people flock to the media and confide in it, the longer these social norms will exist. I definitely think I am a person to go against social norms. I think the world needs more people like that. Now isnt that was diversity is, not race or religious form?
ReplyDeleteI violated one of the social norms the website suggested by waiting for the other person to talk when answering the phone. It's just an instinct to say "hello" when you pick up the phone so the first two times I picked up the phone I said hi. Then I decide to be more aware of what I was doing. I only did this three times because we don't get a lot oh phone calls, but in the first call, there was silence for a few seconds and then the other person finally said "hello?" The second call, the person said "hi" before I even put the phone to my ear, and the third person was my grandma who hung up after I did not say hello. I think some social norms are there for safety such as the drive-through one because you cannot have people walking through while cars are going through as well. I also think that we don't think about why we doing some of these things considered social norms and just do it because of what is it - normal.
ReplyDeleteI got my idea for violating a social norm also from the website. I was scheduled to start babysitting for a new family tonight and decided that when the mother asked me how i was doing instead of just replying "good" i would give her the intricate answer. Of course right before doing it i almost chickened out because this lady had only met me once before and she had to trust me enough to leave me with her kid for the evening. But i decided i would do it anyway and hope for the best. When i first arrived we had the usual small talk conversation and then she asked how my day was. I chuckled a little to myself and im sure i turned bright red when i started to explain to her how i had left my car in the street over night and was lucky i didn't receive a ticket, and about how I hope i pass my next math test because the subject is difficult, and finally about how i wouldn't wait to go to the gym once i was done there. She was a nice lady and just let me ramble on without interjecting much. When i was done all she had to say was 'wow you're a talkative one'. I felt uncomfortable and unnatural- i don't think i would ever violate a social norm again. Id rather stand with the crowd then overwhelm another person. (Once the mom returned later i explained to her this experiment so hopefully she doesn't think im completely crazy)
ReplyDeleteMy idea was to make as much eye contact with Ms. Kim as possible during our history class. At first this wasn't actually on purpose I was just listening really intently to whatever she was saying but then I realized she would look quickly at me and then look in a different direction. So I continued to stare directly at her trying not to break eye contact. Now this became very uncomfortable for both her and me, because I felt creepy and she probably just felt that I was staring at her (which I was). I think social norms are important to keep a comfort level once they have already been established. For instance it would be hard to all of a sudden decide that New Jersey is going to be a nudist colony but if it started out that way, no one would question it. I also think we are a major influence on our own acceptance of social norms. As we have all noticed, it is possible to violate social norms and in most cases the worst thing that will happen is getting a few weird looks. It is all our decision as to which social norms we will comply to. I noticed myself following social norms even when writing this. Before I started writing my post, I looked at everyone else's to see what they wrote and how long it was to make sure mine fit in with everyone else's. Fitting in with society is a hard habit to break.
ReplyDeleteThe social norm that I violated was also on the website. I was nervous with this assignment but I picked this social norm to break since I would probably never see the person who I am talking to. Normally, when telemarketers call I do one of these three things: tell them my parents aren't home, hang up midway, or I won't even pick up. This time I decided to actually talk to the telemarketer and then I asked them if I could call them back. The person on the other end was a little confused since there was a moment of silence. When he realized that I asked him if I could call him back, he said it's okay, and that he would call me back but I pushed my question once more. I asked him again if I could call him back. He said no, that he would call back later and that I should have a nice day and he hung up.
ReplyDeleteI pretty much expected what happened. I mean, if I was a telemarketer and someone said that they were going to call me back, I would wonder if they understood the role of a telemarketer.
I think social norms are what make us comfortable because we know exactly what we are going to get. We live in a society where having peace and living a normal life is looked upon as good. By violating a social norm, I saw that I stood out and made the other person uncomfortable. I think we do need social norms because they make the world run smoothly. Otherwise, we wouldn't know what to expect from other people.
To be completely honest I felt a little scared going to any store and breaking a social norm. My initial feeling was "what are people going to think about me?" But after a half an hour of procrastinating and sitting on the couch, I finally got up and was like I don't care anymore, let's break some norms! For this assignment, I went to Barnes and Nobles where there were studious students studying in the cafe along with other random people looking for the latest books to buy. While driving to the store I felt a little awkward solely because I knew people were going to judge me badly. When I got there, I did not want to leave the car, but after a couple minutes I approached the store wearing my black outfit and ready to go! For about a good twenty minutes I walked around the store dressed as a black cat with ears and all. During this time, I got a lot of dirty stares that literally felt like daggers. I believe that people tended to stare at me more because I stuck out from the normal teenager. Also as I was walking around trying to find the Hunger Games book so I could purchase it I walked pass some people who laughed at me. Apparently, this social norm worked and showed me that people do tend to judge you because you are different from them. After I purchased my book at the register (which is where I got stared at by the cashier and asked what I was doing..) I went to Starbucks, which is in Barnes and Nobles, and was told by the man at the counter that he liked my outfit. It was quite obvious that everyone else did not share his opinion! During this experiment, my expectations were fulfilled. I assumed that everyone was going to give me dirty looks because I was not dressed in the normal jeans and "t shirt."
ReplyDeleteI think social norms are what keep us together as a community meaning that they tie us together because we all wear similar clothing because its the new fashion. Although if we don't wear the latest fashion then we are stared at like I was yesterday. I feel that social norms really dictate what we do and don't do. We are often afraid to be different from today's trends because we feel like we will be judged. I think for some reasons we need social norms because they tie us together.
I accidentally violated a social norm at work this past week. Being a hostess at a restaurant, I ended up dancing people to their table and so I ran with this idea. My co-workers were very encouraging of me galloping, turning, and curtsying to tables since they knew me, but they did not join in my lonesome waltz. The people eating at the restaurant on the other hand had a different opinion of me. I ended up feeling stupid when I received dirty looks and stares.
ReplyDeleteOverall I felt that social norms are so difficult to understand, and breaking them for the shock factor could be fun. I don't see how one person or group of people can tell what is or isn't acceptable.
It was a tad challenging to violate a social norm being isolate from society (I was home all week due to a tonsillectomy) but on Friday my mom dragged me out of bed to get out of the house and get my haircut. I saw this as the perfect (and possibly only!) opportunity to violate a social norm. Being that I could hardly speak anyway, I used the "whispering when you talk" violation. I was not too nervous to do this because I didn't really see how I could speak at a normal level anyway. To start- I like to say that I am a typical teenage girl when talking about my attachment to my hair... noticeably long, one can conclude I have not cut it in a while, which is the absolute truth. So, Friday morning I pulled myself together and made it over to the hair salon with my mom after having told her in the car not to mention to anyone that I had just had my tonsils & adenoids removed. I entered the salon whispering "Hello" to the woman at the desk who welcomed me with a bright, bubbly "Good morning!" I chalked that interaction up to her job description that probably calls for being personable to all clientele. The hairdresser comes over and asks me to take my hair out of my bun to see how long it is. I then became hesitant about my assignment after hearing her speak in a thick accent... there were clearly going to be a lot of communication obstacles in the hour to come! Whispering to her that I only wanted a trim, maybe about 3 inches cut off she leaned in close to me and asked again how much I wanted off. The hairdresser washed my hair, led me to her chair and started brushing. She attempted to engage in casual conversation while brushing the knots out of my hair. I was wincing a bit and whispering that I did not want a lot off my hair. She kept suggesting how about 4 inches, maybe 5... I kept whispering that I did not want a lot and I would love it if she could blow dry it with a part to the side because I never part it down the middle when she asked. To cut to the end of the appointment, the hairdresser probably cut a good 4 maybe more inches off my hair and blow dried it with a part to the middle. She would respond with a smile and a nod of the head in response to my whispered requests, so I am assuming she didn't quite understand what I had asked for. I was mildly displeased with how my hair came out being that she took off more than what I had wanted, but it was my decision to go with whispering and not making a point of telling her I only wanted 3 inches cut off. It's not the end of the world! ...and I kind of like it haha (:
ReplyDeleteI think social norms are an essential component within any given society. What a certain society deems as acceptable and unacceptable provides the foundation for the society to progress. Laws may be viewed as social norms that are adapted into the judicial system but they may also be viewed as beliefs that have been projected onto society. The United States has laws that affect all states but each state, county, and town establish their own set of laws to govern the differing populations that reside in each. Similar to laws, I think social norms are a positive to society because they offer protection. Whether the protection be from physical pain or emotional pain, when followed social norms guide individuals within the society to approval and acceptance.